one thing we can be sure of about nicim, she is a very brave soul...

2006-01-14
2:51 p.m.

out of kindness to strangers, I will try to keep this brief... see, I tend to babble... sometimes I may appear coherent, but most of the time I am just letting the words fall out of my head and through my fingers without much rhyme or reason other than my brain seems to produce more words than it can hold and if I do not let them out, my head might explode or I could at least fall over... yeah, sometimes the words get heavy...

the title, yes, I was getting somewhere with the title... a very brave soul... this is not nicim talking to or about herself, by the way... maybe I'll introduce myself later... right now I want to continue the thought that inspired the title for this entry...

the way nicim pours her heart out in her words, the way she writes the story of her life and stands out here in this public place, naked for all the world to see (if this is your first time here you can stop looking for nude photos, I am referring to her honest open exposure of her psyche and emotions and life) is inspirational... I lost count of how many times tears came to my eyes while reading this dairy... happy tears, sad tears, even angry tears... our dear nicim's heart and mind and spirit and words have inspired more than a few words in my writings, whole entries even...

yes, she is brave and beautiful and amazing, no question about that...

it may be time to question her sanity, however... I mean, bravery is one thing, but asking me to come into her house here and write a guest entry knowing what kind of free-for-all madness and unabashed below-the-belt teasery can happen in my diary? (especially lately)... that may be call for a inter-cranial check up... I imagine her and her closest friends (who are probably hoping they remain nameless for the moment, since association with me could probably get one tossed out of the finer circles, but they are linked over there on this page) are sitting together, huddled nervously on the sofa or settee, wondering if they should take a sedative or something stronger before reading on...

especially lately, since I've been giving fingers to my own readers and the general public in various ways (and places) more often than I might usually do... maybe she feels I need to calm down and knows I'll be on my best behavior in her house...

silly girl (here's my best most mischievous grin)...

please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste... I love nicim, after all, that proves I've got great taste... and she's my friend, so that makes me rich... if you do not know me, and even my incorrigible ego accepts that there are a few unfortunate (or fortunate, depending on perspective) souls who have not had the luck to stumble into (candoor) my web world (and web is so the right name for it, I confess... make note of that, for I confess rarely and I do so only out of respect for our hostess), you might consider me an anonymous (candoor) poster and leave it at that, because I am not one to flaunt (candoor) myself about (even though I am in a new online soap opera, he says, glancing nonchalantly at the ceiling)... in fact, I have never even run a (candoor) banner ad here at Diaryland for any of my (candoor) diaries and I have a (candoor) few... so just pull up your chair, sit back, try to relax, and let's see what comes of this guest entry...

the first thing that comes to mind as I make myself at home here is the beautiful emotions that are all around... this diary is full of such intense feelings, so much hope and positivity and some seriously raw pain... naturally I'd feel comfortable in a place where honesty reigns supreme and romance is the favorite dream... I have a whole diary dedicated to romance (and a few others for the pains), after all (actually, I think I'm doing well not to list them or somehow subtle slip links for all of them in every paragraph, what with the potential for a whole new and wonderful readership before me... this diary is a beautiful light, after all, and her loving energy brings you here... and it's not that I am beyond such blatant plugs, you know... truth is, I'm really quite shy and feel sort of embarrassed sitting here tapping keys before you... I'll change the subject now)...

nicim has survived to be of an age when a human being is expected to be a grown up, mature, down-to-Earth, realistic, practical, and, well, stuffy (at least that's how I see grown-ups, especially when they are looking at me being me) without losing the best part of herself... while she's developed many of the very responsible and wise ways of survival and success in this world, she's still so much a child at heart that she believes in fairy tales (naturally I instantly fell in love, since I live in a fairy tale in my mind)... the firm belief that we are never 'too old' to change, to learn, to grow, and above all else, to fall in love and find the way to make our dreams come true and live happily ever after no matter what history might suggest (or scream at us) - that is the magic that is nicim and the wonder of this diary...

hmmmm, I actually did not come here to glow on and on about the wonderfulness of our hostess (that's too easy, almost cheating), no, I actually I came to mock and tease and generally irritate the stuffy people of the world (cuz that's so much the fun in putting words and ideas together for me... and of course I hear a selfish voice in my head exclaiming "whatdya mean a guest entry?... your a few days behind in your own diary and have neglected your other written worlds for way too long"... yes, I have a very selfish voice in my head... what, you don't hear voices in your head?...

{ awkward moment }

so maybe my threats to taunt and run amock {in a literary way} is a subconscious way of discouraging this sort of fun extravagance... or it might be that shyness thing)...

suddenly, a moment of conscience comes over me like a London fog and I see very clearly what may already be obvious to many of you, that I came here as I come to my own diary, with absolutely no idea what I might write about... this does not always work out too well, especially in the middle of the work week when my brain is cluttered with a zillion things that might mean something to my dear readers who know and love me in spite of my babbling on and on about this and that and never coming to any cohesion or point, for that matter... but here, unlike in my diary, I actually care if I bore you... maybe I should have had a plan...

or a meme (nudge, wink, bat bat)...

heck, I can be dangerous even in a meme as I seem to forget guidelines as I am pretending to read them... no wonder no structured or themed online community wants me, I can probably be summed up in one word: offtopic...

omigosh, I just thought of something that has me too excited to type (no worries, I'll run this entry through a spellchecker... yes, I finally have one... don't tell my readers though, they might expect me to write properly and correct for spelling and typos)... one thing I am really looking forward to this year is spending a little time with the wonderful Nicim herself... yes, I just might be one of the lucky few who get a visitation when she makes her annual (or however often it may be) trip to Florida... I'm in the middle of the state, after all, so I've got as good a chance as anybody in this state to be within shouting distance... and maybe she'll be lured by the theme parks or fine dining... well, theme parks... between Tampa and Orlando, there are some great rides (who loves roller coasters?... not us, ha)...

ok, maybe to conclude this atrocity in this otherwise wondrous diary, I'll write a song (well that's not putting myself on a spot, is it now?... aherm {throat clearing}... deep breath... giggle)... ok, I'm going to write a little song for you... gush a little, even... just as soon as I stop stalling... let's see, what do I really want to say to you and your readers...

some of us dream the impossible dream
some of us make it come true
if you are wondering what I might mean
this is my dream for you

I wish you love
and happiness
with someone who
shows tenderness
I wish you peace
in love's embrace
in every way
and face to face

I wish you courage to reach out for what you need
I wish you strength to face changes that have to come
I wish you friends to lend a hand when you hurt or bleed
I wish you never spend another moment numb

I wish you build your world anew based on all your dreams
I wish you never ever feel you are all alone
I wish you never ever let fear come in between
the only wish your heart has ever known

a heart as beautiful as any heart this world has known
my dearest wish for you, dear heart, is that desire not roam
I wish your love will find it's way home
I wish your love will find his way home


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