We are all bound by invisible chains that come from childhood, from family environment, culture, fears or reactions to events that took place years ago.
Bondage brings up a series of odd images. The chains that bind. The ties that bind. The custom of debt bondage. A unique children�s puzzle game. The Bondage Discipline which isolates and insulates the components in each layer from other layers in order to dramatically increase security. * funny to think you can apply the same principles to computers as co-dependents *
It takes a lot of courage to break the bonds. Almost always more than we think we�ve got, and almost always more than we think we should have to find. We are desperate for love to make us happy for evermore, and we too often pay with the self we had for the love we want.
A loving relationship is two whole people who form a new working whole together. We get into relationships with starry eyed dreams of a life together that is greater and more complete than the life we had as one.
But what do you do when there�s no longer any �two� in Together?
Anna has been living with Mr. Lucky for 13 years, without any discussions of marriage. They live in a large home and she pays exactly half of everything. His name is the only one on the deed - so I suppose she�s renting her space. She works long hours for his business in trade for insurance, a retirement fund, a full pantry, a full closet, and a full bank account. Her free time is full too - taking care of all the other aspects of their life he ignores or refuses to deal with � bills, groceries, tradesmen, laundry, gardening, painting, cleaning. Mr. Lucky has brutally offended all of her friends and family. Her world is very often equal measures of loneliness, and aloneness, and lonesomeness.
When he says �I love you� he means �I want something�, but expects me to smile and be grateful. I find that love facade the most offensive part. Why can�t he just say, I�ve gotten older, I need you to take care of me, which is the real truth. Somehow he thinks that saying I love you transforms the relationship and changes the molecules. And that�s such bullshit.
Darling girl, you can approach life as a victim � or as a fighter. If you don�t decide which way to play with life, it will always play with you.
If you find there is no longer a we in the us that had been it�s time to conquer the fear, stop settling, and find The One that puts the two back in your Together.
If he is him, and we are us, then who is it that is you?
 |
| Get Your Own Map | View Larger Map |