The First Step is the Hardest

2005-08-27
10:42 p.m.

maybe this helps you understand...none of us want to give up on someone we love and walking away from an abuser is giving up on him, at least for that period of time...sometimes it takes almost as much strength to stay as it does to leave, but ultimately staying does more harm than good (even if we do not want to see that)...walking away is the tough love, it is taking away the alcoholic's bottle, it is telling the abuser that you will no longer enable his abuse and he must deal with his issues on his own....it is not called “tough love” because it is easy, after all...
~~Candoor

My recent entry I Hope You Dance seems to have struck a chord with a lot of people here at Diaryland.

The “Comments” attached to the entry continued to grow, even after I put up a new entry. And if you didn’t get a chance to read what people had to say – go, read, I’ll wait. No, really – click the link and GO READ.

Because it’s important to understand that the broken hearts, damaged lives and pain caused from physical, mental, emotional, or psychological abuse happens to real people. People you’ve laughed with, cried with, and come to know so well, and whose lives you share every time you come here…..and dear JEN if you visit again, please let us know how we can help.

Candoor was kind enough to give me his list in HTML so I could post them here. And if anyone else wants it, just ask, or use View Source in your browser to copy the code. Imagine how many people we could touch if each of us here in Diaryland dedicated a single entry to get this message out to all our various and sundry readers.

So – here they are once more. The places you can call, or go, or even email. Or give to someone, anyone, else who needs them.

read this if you browse for help * and this too * Resources (listed below)

National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3244 (TTY)
Toll free, confidential, 24 hrs. Translators available.

State Hotlines * Help Guide - Domestic Violence * Oprah * Info

Rape Abuse and Incest National Network
1-800-656-HOPE (4673) Toll free, confidential, 24 hrs.

National Center for Victims of Crime and National Stalking Resource Center
1-800- FYI-CALL (1-800-394-2255) M-F, 8:30 am- 8:30 pm EST

Miles Foundation (for victims of Interpersonal Violence in the Military)
203-270-7861 Confidential, EST * milesfdn@aol.com

Darkness To Light Hotline (for victims of child sexual abuse)
1-866-FOR-LIGHT (367-5444) Toll free, confidential, 24 hours

Childhelp USA National Child Abuse Hotline
1-800-4- A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) Toll free, confidential, 24 hrs.
NOTE: This hotline is for advice, information and to clarify options. It is not the same as reporting the abuse. You don't need to give your name or name of the abuser to talk.

National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678)

Stop It Now! (child sexual abuse prevention and pedophile helpline)
1-888-PREVENT (888-773-8368) Toll free, confidential M-F 9am-5pm EST
If you or someone you know is possibly a pedophile call Stop It Now! To learn about help that is available.

National Center on Elder Abuse
Eldercare Locator at 1 (800) 677-1116 - this is not a helpline, but rather will direct you to the state hotline number.

Women's Law Initiative
State-by-state legal information on domestic violence and orders of protection

American Domestic Violence Crisis Line
For American women and children living abroad. International toll free domestic violence crisis line from 10:00pm to 6:00am, Pacific Standard Time, Monday night through Friday morning and Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9:00am to 1:00pm. (these are daytime hours for people living overseas) To call from overseas, contact your local AT&T operator and ask to be connected to 866-USWOMEN. From within the USA, dial 1-866-USWOMEN. If you have a safe email, email them anytime at crisis@866uswomen.org All communication is confidential.

International Directory of Resources
International inventory of hotlines, shelters, refuges, crisis centres and women's organizations, searchable by country, plus index of domestic violence resources in over 70 languages.

Dealing with the aggressive person

Information you can use

Abuse Issues

May each of you find peace and understanding in this life, and experience the love you deserve.

wisdom is not a lack of mistakes, wisdom is learning from them.

~~Candoor

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