Now that I have finished providing the Garden Club their refreshments which consisted of making 36 tarts of various flavors like peach, chocolate, lemon, coconut custard, cherry, apple and applying various interesting toppings like glazed nuts, kiwi, strawberries, oranges, cocoa, nutmeg, cinnamon and a lot of whipped cream,
and copied on tape all the rerun episodes of Firefly using my wonderful TiVo because I�ve seen the movie and I�ll want the DVD (yes I have a TiVo which should tell you something about my TV habits, and a lifetime Platinum membership to the Columbia House DVD club of America which should tell you something about my movie habits and a double Platinum with real Diamond trim lifetime membership to the Sci-Fi Book Club of the Known and Unknown Universes which has added hundreds of books to the already 13 full bookcases not including the library which should tell you something about my reading habits breathe dear, breathe
and wrote some other stuff including a new poem (actually my favorite genre but appeals to only a small number of people and I will post it at some point even though I may be called boring again),
and continue to be really blown away over the fact that not only did one of my favorite diarists, Candoor send me a loving email recently in the midst of his computer�s grand mal seizures, and quoted me anonymously (no I�m not telling what - but he asked first) and actually took the time to read most of the entries in this place, AND make comments, and is answering my 101 Things which I can�t wait to read,
and caught up on liestruestory which was, of course, our darling Aussie Jay catz-eyes�s entry into NaNoWriMo (and maybe next year I�ll try it myself!)
and wrote another R-rated episode starring our heroine Anna because she deserves a delightfully delicious fantasy turn in the bedroom with her oh so handsome Love, ( which I may or may not post at some point when I feel like it which goes to show you that I often write entries far in advance of actually posting them),
and finished the last chapter of the Jane Austen book I've been meaning to finish as it seemed a shame not to find out "who done it" in those last ten pages,
and got halfway through �Wicked� which has been in my hot little hands forever, although I really should read something better for my mind,
and read the Sunday morning paper that comes on Saturday morning which I will never understand,
and almost froze my fingers off drinking a Vanilla Coke with lots of icy ice in the middle of winter because it's only good when it's almost freezing (which is the same way I drink really wonderfully rich deep dark brown beer) but which may be my last one as I just heard they are going to stop making it even though it actually has it�s very own website,
and found a way to get a new $450 Liz Claiborne cashmere blend winter coat I�ve been dying to have for a mere $165 (yes � no kidding � can I shop, or what!!) because I don�t think I can stand to be seen in my old green swing coat anymore and it's going to be a disgustingly long cold winter around here,
and spent about an hour outside clearing out the rest of the debris from the flower beds and covering the boat despite the warnings that exposure to sun leads to every skin condition in the known and unknown universe and I really could have waited until a cloudy day when I could have gotten even colder,
and put up the Christmas tree and various and sundry other fabulous decorations which got ignored last year until the kids arrived, looked at me in horror that I had been too busy working, and immediately ransacked the garage thereby making everything and everybody quite festive almost immediately (except for Mr. �Scrooge� Lucky � although we did suggest creative ideas about decorations for him of a personal nature)
and decided I'm not going to do another darn thing today except address my Christmas cards - I'll work tomorrow! I decided to talk about a picture I actually posted several months before this entry, even though I wrote this entry first and didn�t post it (are you following that?) and have now had to edit it considerably.
This is my favorite grown-up picture ever, which is saying a lot because I've not taken any good pictures since I was about 2. My photo face always has too many angles and shadows. I love this one, though, mostly because you can see the me inside of the me peeking out. Not the confident, cocky me, but the little girl that was mostly scared she wouldn't be able to get it right. Not the mom thing. Not the work thing. Not the relationship thing. And especially not the life thing.
I was 21. The first man I had ever loved with a passion that knew no bounds had, without warning, walked away from me. I moved from St. Louis to Chicago just to escape the memories. This was taken in the middle of a photo shoot by one of the obviously amateur assistants who didn't understand F stops.
He said "Nicim?, I turned, and he clicked.
Looking at where I was, from where I am, I think it doesn�t matter so much any more if, after all these years, a little of the me inside of me is still hiding in there somewhere. Cause it ended up working out just fine.
And for you (and you know who you are)
In quiet moments without you I still feel you next to me, your touch, your skin, the soft comfort of your voice telling me we will be together forever. Your strong arms around me. I am safe. Lovers, friends joined.
 |
| Get Your Own Map | View Larger Map |