I'm fighting it poppets. With everything I have. Reining in my emotional mind (if not my body) and reminding myself daily that things are never as they appear. Men lie. And they love you until they don�t. Simple as that.
But I could also see he isn�t giving up. About anything. We got so close so fast that we�ve had our misconstrued moments. And I�ve tried pushing him away, outrageous and emotional as usual. And yet he�s continued to wiggle and wedge and push himself gently and slowly into my heart (and just where did you THINK I was going to say) until I�ve had no choice in the matter. He says we were simply meant to find one another in this Time continuum. The bad experiences we�ve both suffered enabled us to recognize true kindness, and generosity, and romance. And I believe him. But he still jokes that he really wants to meet the man/men who treated me so badly (no, I don't really think he would want to meet Mr. Lucky, do you?) over the years so he can break their necks. As it has taken him ever so much longer to train me properly.
It�s not that I didn�t want to believe. But I�ve invested myself before. And I have such a tiny piece of heart left to lose.
Trust is hard-won for someone like me. But sometimes a single moment can make a difference. When he said �you see, I�ve been a little afraid too. This is like being in a rowboat without paddles in the middle of the sea. This is all new for me and I�m still figuring it out.� Just like me.
To find another One in this lifetime. And on the heels of something like Gabriel. How can it be possible. Perhaps I'm just trying to turn dreams into wishes into reality.
But wouldn't it be lovely if it could be him?
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