Age

2014-07-08
3:32 p.m.

At the pool the other day there were acres of old women with perpetual tans on large freckled chests - their hair shellacked into place by fake French hairdressers, never allowing it (God forbid) to touch the water, sleeping without putting their heads down lest they shatter the do's like so much Venetian glass.

There were nose jobs and liposuction and facelifts so extreme the ears almost touched in back - the overall effect bizarrely sexy in the same way you might find Yvonne deCarlo on the Munsters sexy; women fighting off old age and, on the surface, winning, but I wonder if they doth protest o'er much, their fear a little too bare in the scar-revealing harsh overhead sunlight.

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