In Memoriam
Gabriel Jonas Bresnell
aka �Gabriel� �Arc-Angel666�
February 12, 1948 - June 22, 2009
Lived hard, loved hard, tried hard, died hard
It is difficult to consider what finding this ending means to me. Our two-year relationship, if one can even call it that, consisted of hundreds and hundreds of hours of phone conversations and hundreds of loving emails. It was extraordinarily passionate in its own way. And extraordinarily unusual. An ocean of truth or a mountain of lies. Impossible to know one from the other. Perhaps it is best to say that he had the ability to say just the lies you needed to hear, at just the time you needed to hear them. Which made him very special in his own inimitable way. And someone I may never forgive, but will never forget.
He was the one who finally convinced me I didn�t need to settle. That I could give up the stuff I loved for a life of my own choosing. That the diagnosis of Hep C was not a death sentence and when the doctor handed the phone back to me after explaining everything to him, Gabriel joked �Pam Anderson found out it made her boobs bigger� which made me laugh through my tears and gave me hope. And that despite his own consistent personal issues � whatever they really were - he still found the time to ask �and how are you?�
There were so many promises that were never kept, and he broke my heart at a time when it was almost the only thing I could count on. But that was the way his life operated. And it is difficult to fault someone for simply being themselves.
After all � we all know the story of the scorpion, the river, and the frog.
Ribbitt�..Ribbitt
8-25-2005 Celtic190@aol to nicim:
�When I said tonight I love you, it was something I wanted to say and you are under no obligation whatsoever to respond in kind. It has been trying to jump from my lips for a number of days now. I have held it back, forced it back, choked it back and it was becoming a bit of a problem. Love is such a strong emotion and so powerful one has to release its energy or suffer the consequences. Like other emotions such as fear, anger and hate, love if left alone can fester. It mutates in the dark and changes. I am sorry but I had to release it, needed to be set free :-).The love I feel doesn't at this point in time need company. It�s how I feel about you, and it�s a great feeling. I am enjoying it immensely, there is nothing like being in Love. If nothing else just know there is someone who Loves You. I just thought you might like to know.�
My answer was Yes, dear Angel. Do you remember?
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