I seem to be exiting the pity party I've been a guest of for the past - well, I don't know how long.
I can't remember it when it started.
Perhaps the first time El Bastardo Romantico�, who supposedly loved me "until the end of time...and beyond" screamed at me and lashed out uncontrollably and blamed his reactions on me because I answered a call from Mr. Lucky.
"You never speak to an ex. Period"
Or when I found out he had been cheating on me during the entire three years of our relationship....with his "ex".
Maybe when my once loving daughter told me she had decided I was such a lousy mother thirty years ago she did not wish to speak to me, nor could I ever see my grandchildren again. And the family moved to France. (wow, that's holding a grudge)
Maybe it went even further back and I've never quite figured out the answers to all the questions that can never be answered now that the one who had the answers is no longer alive to provide them. Even if the answers wouldn't have been something I wanted to hear.
But things seem...more peaceful lately.
A job that's likely to stay around working for an actual NICE boss and with actual NICE co-workers.
Enough income that I'm actually saving a little each month - even after putting some into my 401K and purchasing a reasonable (or sometimes unreasonable) number of tinky-dinks and new shoes.
Sleeping normally without the aid of Ambien or Alcohol. (My version of AA the last nine months)
Weekends back for ME, and some dancing, now that the summer fling has - at long last - flung. Whew! What a relief it was HIM that began the "we need to talk" conversation just one day before I had planned to start it - I'm so very bad at it and was pleased to simply say (and hopefully not with TOO big a smile in my voice) "I agree. BYE!"
Reservations for a dance competition weekend with two friends in D.C. made and paid. The first one in a number of years and I am SO looking forward to it. (altho I will miss competing or at least being a judge)
If not a lot of close friends, at least a couple friends to call should I feel the need.
And if not a boyfriend, at least a couple boys to call should I feel the need.
Now why it had to wait until WINTER to get better.....
but that's what vacations are for, right?
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