There are two rules that determine the course of the universe: Choice, and Chance. For instance, you choose to throw a cupful of dice, taking the chance that you may lose. See how it works? A choice is made without knowing the outcome, because chance always chooses the outcome. Choice and Chance determine your existence and, inevitably, chooses your destiny.
Ah, Christmas. It was an interesting holiday.
The first holiday without Mr. Lucky in fifteen years. I should say, without Mr. Lucky and his family � as we always went to one brother�s house or the other. The first few years our home was just too small, and the last few years it was out of the way for the majority of the family � especially when the nieces started having families of their own. I really loved the family � even if I could do without Mr. Lucky.
Not that my holiday was bad. My daughter finished some of the construction she was working on and we got the first floor livable on Christmas Eve. The tree went up (with the baby�s help) and a good friend (and former dance partner) of mine from Baltimore joined us for Christmas. Dinner was HUGE, presents were grand, and my friend and I went Manhattan touring and dancing two days in a row � something I hadn�t done in a while.
His 36-year old girlfriend of two years left him recently, citing reasons that, at 55, he was too old for her, and I, of course, am still mourning the disappearance of Gabriel. My friend�s split got me to thinking. How easily we adjust to the loss of a partner in our younger years. Why, in high school we went through them every few months. As the years progressed, the relationships lasted longer, and so did the grieving process. At some point we get in one that feels like it will last forever � and when it doesn�t, the pain never seems to go away.
Is it because we know the likelihood of another one is becoming increasingly unlikely? At 20, with flowing hair and bouncy bottom the years to find just the right one were abundant. At our age, perhaps all the right ones are long gone��taken up when they were in their 20�s and 30�s. Or, perhaps, STILL being taken up by those long-haired, bouncy bottomed sweet young things who surely look more appetizing than we do.
I made the choice, taking the chance to fall in love. And when the dice were thrown, they came up snake-eyes.
And to all � A Good Night!
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