Am I the only one my age that still worries about what people say about her behind her back. You know � after you leave the party. After the meeting is over. Or, most especially, after a relationship has ended.
What is said to the ones who knew � the circle of relatives, acquaintances, co-workers, or friends, real and on-line, who eventually ask �So, whatever happened to that internet girl you were so in love with?�
�Oh boy, what a (insert negative adjective, or adjectives, here). I really dodged the bullet that time.� Followed by a litany of everything about me that is, was, or is thought to be less than expected.
And I bring this up today just because I think about it more than I should. I�ve always been sensitive to such things. Those secret, behind the back of the hand whispers have nagged at my psyche since I was a kid. Comes from being raised by a negative parent I think. Back then I eventually learned the answer � someone who told someone who told someone would whisper it back to me. But with the internet, the whispering circles are so much larger. Worldwide, in fact, which means I will never know the answer given to that �What ever happened� question.
And I think about it because I came back here � but most of the folks I knew seem to be missing. Perhaps they are sick of this pity party I�ve thrown. Perhaps they�ve made other friends and acquaintances and just aren�t around anymore. Or perhaps, at some point, they asked what happened to that internet girl and were given an answer.
And me, who believes that I was little more than a time-killer, little more than potential script material, no more than a good laugh with the buddies, squirms and tries to shake it off every day. And every night. After all, sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.
Really, they can�t.
Really.
(Can they?)
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