It's been a while.
Five years ago (can it be that long I've been here) I wrote
So if you�re going to make New Year�s Resolutions this year, make one really big important one. Make one life-changing or life-saving one. Make one that is big enough, and strong enough, to haunt you until you make it happen.
This New Year's Eve, sitting alone in front of the TV watching an old movie (not Bastardo's� fault - he works weekends, especially the big ones), I couldn't think of even one.
In November I was layed off from my second job in the three years since I've been in New York when they starting losing more than they were making. With a lot of Ebay work I came out financially even and finally got two offers so I start a new job tomorrow morning.
Haven't seen my beloved grandchildren in over a year now, my no longer loving daughter and her husband having decided that someone who was such a "poor" mother (yes, their words) shouldn't visit the grandchildren that live less than a mile away. And my doctor boyfriend - director of one of the largest emergency rooms in the US - was added to their not good enough list.
Odd isn't it. Go ahead. Read my diary. The babies were my life, and this response is from the child who spent the first 35 years of her life thinking me the "best mom in the world". Gave up so much to keep her with me - loved her absolutely. It's turned to something quite different now.
So, no, I didn't have any wishes, or resolutions. It was just one less year because I don't believe in always anymore.
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